Posted by: Team McSlade | May 21, 2010

An Open Letter to Ms. Norah Jones

Dear Ms Jones,

Today as I rode to university I was forced to listen to two of your songs in the first four that played on my trip. This troubles me greatly, as I have close to 500 songs for the fine people of Apple and iPod to utilise in assisting me on my journey to the Playa de Gandia; however your 11 songs seem to get a disproportionate showing.

I am perplexed as to how you seem to have managed this feat, have you and Apple worked out some form of debajo de la mano (‘down of the hand’ or put simply, a bribe) to allow this folly to take place? What have I done in this life (or for the Buddhists in the crowd, a previous life) that would force such a travesty upon me.

This morning’s ride was not the first one in which your music has taken the lion’s share of musical space, hijacking the ‘shuffle’ of tunes. Why have you chosen our iPod to test this virus out on? Surely someone who has a penchant for easy listening and classic rock would have been a better target market for this clandestine attack.

Admittedly, I would choose your tunes over the work of Ms. Furtado or Ms. Lopez, however J-Lo does have that delightfully insincere track about ‘Jenny from the block’ in which she used to have a little, but now she has a truckload of cash.
However, can you please inform iTunes that the joke is longer funny and could they re-write the virus to allow for more of Leader Cheetah (whose poster I have attached for your viewing pleasure), Songs: Ohia or even Silversun Pickups to be played ‘randomly’?

I have endured your songs whilst my wife, Jo, was ill earlier in our trip to Spain and I beseech you to cease in this attack on decency, otherwise I may in fact blow a valve or have a piston go through the manifold of my heart. (Please note that my auto metaphor may be slightly askew but I know how bad a car can get, having ceased a motor in a V-dub Beetle; cracked a head in a 1964 XP Falcon and as the RAA mechanic scrubbed black thick sludge from the non-firing sparkplugs in the XP I replied to his question of ‘When did you last have this car serviced?’  not with a quantity of time but a simple answer of ‘Yep.’)

So, with this letter I ask you to allow for other musicians to share the space your songs have acquired in this act of sabotage and for the bleeding of my ears to cease.

Sincerely, Ryan

Leader Cheetah


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